Recently I have
been hearing a lot about divorce, adultery, cheating, immorality and so on. All over TV and billboards you sex being
glamorized. Just today, a friend of mine came and talk about this messy subject
of affairs and adultery that he was in the middle of.
Look at this
heart wrenching, staggering stat- 65%
of men and 55% of women will commit adultery by age 40. That is so sad!
I heard a message the other
day about this subject and want to hit some points and add some of my own to
it.
5 Ways to wreck your
marriage-
Neglect your marriage
Start w/ yourself and your
body
Give majority of energy to
something else besides your marriage
No relational intimacy- no
sex- if so, by all means, make it boring and as predictable as you possibly can
Enjoy common interests & form an emotional
bond w/ someone else besides your spouse
Projects at work, co-ed
sports, training at the gym
Try to relate to them and
tell them things about your spouse you don’t like
Anticipate your time together w/ another
Extra cologne/perfume, make
excuses to leave the house
Flirt w/ others
Email, FB and text them
Make sure you delete all
communication between you 2 so spouse doesn’t find out
Leave notes, touch, joke w/
one another
Make excuses and rationalize your actions
Lie and deceive your spouse
By all means, God wants you to
be happy!
Now that I have your
attention, lets talk about this subject!
People never intend to
commit adultery, it happens subtly.
Do whatever it takes to
radically reduce and remove the risks.
God’s line w/ adultery isn’t
just the act of, we think “well, we are friends, we haven’t crossed the sex
line yet” but God’s line starts w/ our eyes, heart and mind. Check out Matt
5:28.
Guard your heart, eyes and
mind.
Listen, if you kept a video
log w/ all your interactions w/ other people through out the day, whether same
or opposite sex and showed it to your spouse, would you be proud of how you
behaved?
If emails, FB, and texts
were fair game and you didn’t delete them, would you be able to say you treated
others w/ integrity and not be ashamed of what they saw? Or would you say
YIKES, I wouldn’t want them to see how I gave this other person so much
attention, or when I got w/ m buddies/girlfriends, how we talked about others
of the opposite sex.
5 ways to help your
relationship w/ your spouse-
Keep
a growing relationship w/ Christ. When you neglect your relationship w/ Christ,
things go downhill.
Never
be alone w the wrong people. Who ever that may be, same or opposite sex. What’s the appearance seem to be?
Never
talk badly about your marriage w/ the wrong people. Find another married couple to talk to
Surround
yourself w/ strong marriages
Avoid
all inappropriate place and situations. Ex old flames looking you up on fb or texting-
don’t let it happen. Don’t put yourself or your spouse in that
situation
· Avoid ALL appearance of evil.
If you have a job that puts
you in bad situations, then quit. It’s easier to find another job than another
father or mother to your children. True-life example- I have a buddy that got a
job. I mentioned my concerns, he started anyways. The first day of training he
went home, talked to his wife about it, listened to his wife’s views, went back
and quit the job. He didn’t want to be put in any situation that could possibly
lead to something else. Was he weak? HECK NO, he was avoiding the situation,
guarding himself, and heeding the advice of his wife. Smart man and I respect
him for that move!
Do what it takes to invest
in your own marriage. When the grass looks greener on the other side, it’s time
to water your own yard!
Your marriage takes work.
After going on 18 years, I think Renee and I’s marriage is stronger now than it’s
ever been. Why? Because we have been working on it for a while. It just doesn’t
happen. We have open talks about things and situations in our lives.
- When we don’t work at it we
fail.
4 ways to help our marriage
- Get
transparent- open up and share your feelings and heart
- Get
alone w/ each other- no kids or friends
- Get
spiritual- Best thing that happened w/ Renee and I, we learned to pray together
- Get
help- if you need help, find it
Adultery can cause devastation
and a huge mess. Visualize telling your kids you cant live w/ them anymore. The
respect they would lose for you. Telling your spouse who has sacrificed
everything for you that you want to be w/ someone else. A person can destroy in
15 minutes what has taken a lifetime to achieve.
When we are unfaithful, God
is always faithful.
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