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How to Discover your Destiny

While I was reading today, I came across 8 steps to discover your destiny. Although, I know step processes don't always work, ie; 4 easy steps to lose weight. 5 steps to financial freedom and so on, I thought these were pretty close to a good 'step' program. Good stuff:

• Think about the desires of your heart, not what someone else wants you to do, or the fleeting fantasies of your mind- Ps. 37:3-4
• Determine what stirs your passion, drive and zeal- John 2:17
• Know what gifts and talents flow naturally through you- Rom. 12:4-6
• Seek counsel from mature friends, both Christian and non-christian and leaders- Prov. 11:14; 18:1
• Listen to the witness of the Holy Spirit in your spirit- Rom. 8:14
• Understand what you can or can't give yourself 100% in order to accomplish it- 1John 3:16
• Know what produces good fruit in your life- Matt. 12:33
• Follow the peace of God inside you- Col. 3:15

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if only...... Significant

I was reading the other day, yes I do that from time to time :-), and ran across an article about being significant, worth and meaning.

I was not surprised by any of the responses, in fact it made me think about it a little more.

Here are some of the responses:

• If only I could be more disciplined and lose all this excess weight….then I would feel more significant.
• feel completely confident in my own skin…
• seize the opportunity and show who I am
• Be a better wife, mother, housekeeper, friend, daughter, sister…Child of God,…
• If I could only make my in-laws care about me genuinely..then I would feel more significant.
• If I could only have a life 100% free of the devil and his tricks, then I would feel more significant.
• Be who I know God has called me to be in ministry instead of living in the depression of my failure’s
• leave my hang ups behind and go full steam ahead following God’s plan for my life
• kill the demons that I can’t seem to get away from and live successfully as ME, and not a clone of someone else
• If I could only get *that* job, then I would feel significant, important. Until then I continue to feel useless.
• If I could only (make some money) and not be “just a mom” I would feel more significant. ugh. 

There are false beliefs – beliefs that lead us to believe our significance comes from things and people within the world. It doesn’t. I have personally struggled w/ this for many years. Trying to please others to feel significant, do something that would "wow" others, but I have come to the conclusion that in the big scheme of things, none of that matters. As long as you are exactly where God wants you to be, that should be enough. He will take it from there and add to you.

My significance comes from God alone and nothing else. If I base my significance on my acceptance in Jesus, and dedicate myself to pleasing God, my confidence will be unshakable. My strength will be spiritual.

I’m here for a purpose. God’s purpose. That’s all the significance I need.

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If you are in a funk, you may want to try this....

I snagged this from a friends post- If you're in a funk or rut, these are some great ideas to get your wheels turning.. 

-Pray out loud.

-Write your prayer out.

-Read your Bible out loud.  Start here.
-Apologize to someone.  Even if it’s not primarily your fault.
-Talk to someone you trust.  If you don’t have someone, hire a professional.
-Rest.
-Exercise.
-Start eating better.
-Drive around listening to a sermon.
-Turn up some worship music really loud.  Shut the door.  Sing along.
-Go back and do the thing you know you were supposed to do.
-Get organized.
-Repent.
-Encourage somebody who would never expect it.
-Get back in church.  Serve somewhere.
-Quit complaining.
-Go on a date with your wife.
-Tell somebody thank you.
-Give some money away.
-Call on the name of Jesus.
-Remember how far He’s brought you.
-Realize that He’ll never ever leave you.

Just a few ideas to get you started.

You can take it from here…

www.ryancook.net

If you are in a funk, you may want to try this....

I snagged this from a friends post- If you're in a funk or rut, these are some great ideas to get your wheels turning.. 

-Pray out loud.

-Write your prayer out.

-Read your Bible out loud.  Start here.
-Apologize to someone.  Even if it’s not primarily your fault.
-Talk to someone you trust.  If you don’t have someone, hire a professional.
-Rest.
-Exercise.
-Start eating better.
-Drive around listening to a sermon.
-Turn up some worship music really loud.  Shut the door.  Sing along.
-Go back and do the thing you know you were supposed to do.
-Get organized.
-Repent.
-Encourage somebody who would never expect it.
-Get back in church.  Serve somewhere.
-Quit complaining.
-Go on a date with your wife.
-Tell somebody thank you.
-Give some money away.
-Call on the name of Jesus.
-Remember how far He’s brought you.
-Realize that He’ll never ever leave you.

Just a few ideas to get you started.

You can take it from here…

www.ryancook.net

Disturb Me Again!

I have blogged about God’s Holy Disturbance a few times, and feel I need to one more time.

The wave of momentum is moving at GJFA. Jump in and get involved. Let me share this verse w/ you from Matthew 6:34- Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes. -Message

It is easy to get sidelined from our busy lifestyles, but try to stay focused on the BIG PICTURE, the reason we are here.

Sometimes my fear is we are so caught up w/ our active, selfish lifestyles and comfortability, we do not want God to disturb us or bother us.  After all, if it’s working, why fix it right? 

The people that are willing to let God disturb, to bother them, to not only think about the vision, but that can feel the vision, are the people that are going to make the difference.

I am praying that God will raise up more and more leaders in our church.  Leaders that will want to lead out of calling & burden rather than for popularity or affirmation.

If a person isn’t disturbed, if nothing bothers them, if everything is gray and there is no black and white then your heart may need to be jump started again.  Maybe you have entered nto a state of numbness?  We live in culture and life where sex is glorified, affairs are on an all-time high, more & people are dying from smoking, alcohol, drugs and obesity than ever before. We are a serve me/ feed me culture and I see people being bothered less and less and less.

Hear my heart. I am not pointing fingers, because there would be twice as many pointed back. I am speaking to myself as well.  I am not judging people by any means. We are at all different cycles in life. I am simply stating, sometimes we need to sit back, find out which way is up, and allow God to disturb us, to realign our wheels, to bother us.

I want my heart to break for the things His heart breaks for. To see people the way He sees people. The only way to get there is to get close to Him and let him disturb us a little.

We are called to be disturbed every now and again!

I have prayed this prayer from Sir Francis Drake every now and again… CAUTION- do not pray it if you don’t mean it!  If you mean it- Hold on for a Holy Disturbance!...Disturb us, Lord, when we are too well pleased with ourselves. When our dreams have come true because we dreamed too little. When we arrive safely because we have sailed too close to the shore. Disturb us, Lord.” 

Disturb us God!!

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'Tis the Season to Give (of yourself)

If you want to be successful at anything you do, it will help you to first be a successful human.  And just what is that? I believe becoming a successful human means being there for other people; no time is better spent than that spent in the giving of yourself to others.  Success does not mean happiness, success means doing the right thing. The rewards of doing the right thing are usually much deeper and painful. The greatest happiness comes from feeling and expressing our love for other people, and particularly our families. If you think about it, we love most those who we serve most, whether it be children, employees, friends or our communities. And this means that we can bring about a greater love for one another, though a life of simple, but meaningful selfless life.

When we fail our friends and neighbors, and even the stranger down the way, through our vanity, selfishness, greed, envy, fear, indifference, or complacency; when we fail to even know about, or acknowledge someone’s suffering, which is in obvious sight, much less attempt to ease it, the world is truly made a darker place. There are so many people in need, who quietly are hovering near edges of emotional bankruptcy. Life is dynamic, and it can be sticky & ugly.  We are called to be a light or to ‘give’ light to this dark world.

Giving is the key to all success in all applications of human life. Giving is not a physical action; giving is a philosophy, and a way of living life. There are endless opportunities to give the smallest things that cost us nothing, but mean the world to other people. Money and time are not the only things we can give. We can give others appreciation, patience, compassion, courtesy, kindness, dependability, friendship, forgiveness, gratitude, honesty, loyalty, respect, tolerance and of course love.

While Jesus was on this earth, he gave so much of Himself. He poured His life into others so they might experience life.  As John 10:10 says, He came to give us life, and to have life more abundantly.

Not only during this season, but through-out your life, I want to throw out a challenge to us all, self included: Slow down enough to see others’ needs and respond by giving to that need. 

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100 Year Grid

(Special thanks to Pastor Craig Groeschel for the following perspective.)

When I’m tempted to complain, it’s very helpful to run my potential complaint through the grid of 100 years.

Size up the situation, consider the ramifications, and ask honestly:
Will this matter in a hundred years?

If the answer is no, let it go.
If it’s yes, do something about it.
Either way, complaining is not an option.

The majority of the things I complain about are related to my temporary comfort, not eternal realities.  There’s no need complaining about something that will have no impact in 3 weeks.  A lot of the things I complain about won’t even matter 3 minutes from now.

Will it matter in a hundred years?  Probably not.

So why waste a complaint?  You’ve got more enduring work to do.

www.ryancook.net

Difference Between Good & Great Leading

I shared this w/ one of our leadership teams at GJFA the other day, and thought I'd share it w/ you. Some of it was copied, some is mine. Use it if you like.

The Difference Between Good and Great Leading-

 Great leaders are shaped and formed in the trenches while most good leaders are born good leaders.

The difference between the 2 is a very thin and fluxuating line.

Great leaders are shaped out of 4 experiences: call, style, skill set, and context in which you see yourself. – when a leader’s call, style and skill set fit the context, the stage is set for a great leader. Opposite, sometimes the stage is set for this, but we never make the transition from good to great.  Nothing bad w/ being a good leader, but if you want to make the transition, whether in church ministry or in the work field- .  Let’s discuss the diff-

Great leaders challenge the prevailing rules about how to conduct ministry, while good leaders work w/ the cards that are dealt. Great leaders are never content w/ the status quo, they always have a holy discontent w/ the way things are. They know that man-made rules are made to be broken because there is always a better way.

Attitude- Today’s attitude gives me possibilities-

·      My attitude when I begin a task affects the outcome more than anything else.

·      My attitude towards others often determines their attitude towards me.

·      My attitude, not my achievements, give me happiness.- Money will not give you happiness and debt will make you unhappy.

·      My attitude- good or bad- is contagious.

Great leaders intuitively read the signs of the times while good leaders struggle to make sense out of the moment.  One of the reasons good leaders never achieve greatness is because they’re to busy, preoccupied, making stuff out of nothing, doing things that don’t mean much to the big picture. They don’t take time or sit still long enough to hear. So they fail to see what God is trying to accomplish.

Today’s priorities give me focus.

·      Time is our most precious commodity.

·      We cannot manage time, we only manage priorities.

·      We cannot change time, only our priorities.

·      Priorities help us to choose wisely.

Most great leaders are constantly recreating their leadership to fit the times, while most good leaders tend to rely on past performance. Well it worked back at so and so, it worked 10 years ago, 5 years ago isn’t even acceptable. It’s much harder for a person to remain a great leader in times like today w/ such exponential change in every aspect of life and leadership.

Today’s health gives tomorrow’s strength-

·      Lasting leaders recognize their body is a vehicle that carries them to their mission.

·      Proper diet and exercise provide the energy to lead well over the long haul.

·      Your physical health will impact your spiritual stamina and perspective.

Great leaders see no limits of what God can do thru them. They rely on God for the impossible, while most good leaders try to calculate what is possible. Great leaders know that the only way to know the limit of possibility is by pushing it to the impossible. Great leaders know that we don’t need God for the possible, we find God in what is thought impossible. If it’s possible, possibly we are doing it on our own.

Great leaders are willing to ‘ready, fire, aim’ while good leaders always want to have everything in place before they fire. Great leaders are always laying it on the line, stepping out where most people fear to go.

Your commitment will be tested everyday, that’s just how it is, BUT, Staying committed helps you overcome many of life’s obstacles.

Great leaders are passionately focused on a few things and flexible on everything else, while good leaders try to wrap their hearts and minds around too many things.

Great leaders empower others; good leaders delegate ministry to others.  Good leaders are always trying to accomplish more.

Delegate: a person acting on behalf of another

Empower: to give official power to or legal authority.

Today’s family gives me stability

Families are often lost- spent as the price for successful ministries & businesses- make time for your spouse and kids-

If the part of your home that you lead is not ‘in order’ you cannot expect to lead others.

Success is having those closet to me, love and respect me the most.- You can not come in here, lead others and then go home and act an entire different way.

Pray w/ your spouses. Just heard today 65% men & 55% women  upto age 40 commit adultery. They didn’t plan on it, sin crept in…. I challenge you, what’s on your TV? Desperate housewives, sex in the city, shows that glamorize adultery and immorality? 

Leadership isn’t about getting people to do what you want them to do; great leadership is about helping people achieve what God created them to be.

The difference between successful and unsuccessful people is how they think. What do you think about? God is the source of great ideas!!

If you are in are part of this ministry and it is a huge burden, maybe this is not what God called you to be involved in. Find a spot where you are happy and like doing what you do and where you get the most fulfillment; that’s where you are supposed to be.

Great leaders are like scouts and coaches than player. They’re constantly looking for talented, passionate leaders who have the potential to be great, while most good leaders are focused on the fullfilment of a particular ministry.

If you want to be great, empower people to reach their potential.

Great leaders surround themselves w/ good leaders, while good leaders surround themselves w/ people of lesser skills.

This shows extreme insecurities. Afraid someone is going to take your job or think you cant do it. This is where we need to show and exude confidence, not to be mixed w/ arrogant or cockiness.

Some leaders spend to much time focused on problem people or needy people and overlook the other 99% .  Sure, these people need help, but the leader doesn’t have to run around and help and clean all the messes, empower others to help others.

Today relationships give me fulfillment.

·      You’ll enjoy life more if you enjoy people.

·      You’ll get further in life if people enjoy you.

·      Most people can trace their success and failures to relationships in their life.

Great leaders are made by how they create or respond to the context in which they find themselves. Buckle up and get yourself in a context where you can become all that God has made you to be. If you’re not in the right context, find the one that fits you. Don’t settle for ‘whatever’. 

Time is short, most the time we only have one shot at this.

www.ryancook.net

 

 

Guard Your Marriage

Recently I have been hearing a lot about divorce, adultery, cheating, immorality and so on.  All over TV and billboards you sex being glamorized. Just today, a friend of mine came and talk about this messy subject of affairs and adultery that he was in the middle of.

Look at this heart wrenching, staggering stat- 65% of men and 55% of women will commit adultery by age 40. That is so sad!

I heard a message the other day about this subject and want to hit some points and add some of my own to it.

5 Ways to wreck your marriage-

Neglect your marriage

Start w/ yourself and your body

Give majority of energy to something else besides your marriage

No relational intimacy- no sex- if so, by all means, make it boring and as predictable as you possibly can

Enjoy common interests & form an emotional bond w/ someone else besides your spouse

Projects at work, co-ed sports, training at the gym

Try to relate to them and tell them things about your spouse you don’t like

Anticipate your time together w/ another

Extra cologne/perfume, make excuses to leave the house

Flirt w/ others

Email, FB and text them

Make sure you delete all communication between you 2 so spouse doesn’t find out

Leave notes, touch, joke w/ one another

Make excuses and rationalize your actions

Lie and deceive your spouse

By all means, God wants you to be happy!

Now that I have your attention, lets talk about this subject!

People never intend to commit adultery, it happens subtly.

Do whatever it takes to radically reduce and remove the risks.

God’s line w/ adultery isn’t just the act of, we think “well, we are friends, we haven’t crossed the sex line yet” but God’s line starts w/ our eyes, heart and mind. Check out Matt 5:28.

Guard your heart, eyes and mind.

Listen, if you kept a video log w/ all your interactions w/ other people through out the day, whether same or opposite sex and showed it to your spouse, would you be proud of how you behaved?

If emails, FB, and texts were fair game and you didn’t delete them, would you be able to say you treated others w/ integrity and not be ashamed of what they saw? Or would you say YIKES, I wouldn’t want them to see how I gave this other person so much attention, or when I got w/ m buddies/girlfriends, how we talked about others of the opposite sex.

5 ways to help your relationship w/ your spouse-

Keep a growing relationship w/ Christ. When you neglect your relationship w/ Christ, things go downhill.

Never be alone w the wrong people. Who ever that may be, same or opposite sex. What’s the appearance seem to be?

Never talk badly about your marriage w/ the wrong people. Find another married couple to talk to

Surround yourself w/ strong marriages

Avoid all inappropriate place and situations. Ex old flames looking you up on fb or texting- don’t let it happen. Don’t put yourself or your spouse in that situation

·      Avoid ALL appearance of evil.

If you have a job that puts you in bad situations, then quit. It’s easier to find another job than another father or mother to your children. True-life example- I have a buddy that got a job. I mentioned my concerns, he started anyways. The first day of training he went home, talked to his wife about it, listened to his wife’s views, went back and quit the job. He didn’t want to be put in any situation that could possibly lead to something else. Was he weak? HECK NO, he was avoiding the situation, guarding himself, and heeding the advice of his wife. Smart man and I respect him for that move!

Do what it takes to invest in your own marriage. When the grass looks greener on the other side, it’s time to water your own yard!

Your marriage takes work. After going on 18 years, I think Renee and I’s marriage is stronger now than it’s ever been. Why? Because we have been working on it for a while. It just doesn’t happen. We have open talks about things and situations in our lives.

• When we don’t work at it we fail.

4 ways to help our marriage

1. Get transparent- open up and share your feelings and heart
2. Get alone w/ each other- no kids or friends
3. Get spiritual- Best thing that happened w/ Renee and I, we learned to pray together
4. Get help- if you need help, find it

Adultery can cause devastation and a huge mess. Visualize telling your kids you cant live w/ them anymore. The respect they would lose for you. Telling your spouse who has sacrificed everything for you that you want to be w/ someone else. A person can destroy in 15 minutes what has taken a lifetime to achieve.

When we are unfaithful, God is always faithful.

If you wish to leave a comment about this blog, click the comment tab at the bottom of the page @ www.ryancook.net

 

 

The Familiar Road

I went through a situation the other day. All the sudden about half way through, I happened to make the decision to retreat back to the place that I knew was familiar to me. It was way to easy to go back to that place. I knew how to get there, and fast, in fact, I think I took a rocket back to that place!

There have been times in all of our lives, when we see a goal clearly, know we want to be there, but maybe we don’t see the roads or paths to get us there.  

I have found for myself that many times, I continue to take the comfortable roads I have used and driven down so many times in the past. I know them by heart and could drive them with my eyes closed. The only problem is those same old roads, take me to the same old place. You all know the place that I am talking about. When you catch your breath and ask yourself, ‘how in the world did I get here? I did not want to take this road, I should have exited 10 minutes ago.’ 

The twist and turns on the new roads may be unfamiliar, and we may have to slow down a bit to navigate this new territory. In fact, we might even need to ask for directions, and pray it’s the right road. 

The journey to arrive in a new place in our lives, our relationships, or our achievements is well worth the time. When you see your goal, don't just keep on doing things as normal. Make a road map for yourself, make new decisions, use new attitudes to arrive at your goal. The road well traveled may be familiar, but will just take you to where you have already been.

I encourage you to be deliberate in your decisions. Let God use those closest to you to speak into your lives. The ones that love us the most, know us the best! Don’t be so prideful that you think God won’t or can’t use so and so or such and such.

As a husband or wife or leader, we must be open to this. I got to say this here: In the past week, on 2 different occasions, God has used my oldest son and my wife, both separately, to speak into my life. Did I like it at the moment? No. Was the conversations easy? No. Did I listen? Yes. Was it humbling? Yes. Did I thank them? Yes. Did I fall on my knees and thank God for putting them in my life? Yes. Will it make me a better person in the long run? Yes.

Check your spiritual tires, and fill your biblical tank, and hit the road. There is no end to where God can lead you, when you are willing!

Peace†

 www.ryancook.net